Peter's Pages

The Final Life and Testament of the Being known as the Apostle Peter


The following consists of a few of the incidents that took place during my life journey that were to me transforming life experiences.

Though Christianity and Jesus are a part of this article they are not its main focus.

This post is not intended in any way to be some type of Christian propaganda.

None of the original followers of the Being historically known as Jesus were Christians.



October 1969


After many adventures working and traveling I found myself in dire straights. I was homeless, hungry, broke, cold, wet and almost hopeless.

One day, while on a bus, I challenged the universe. In my mind and with all my heart I said “If there’s anything that can help me, help me now”. Suddenly I felt a profound peace fill me and surround me.

I got off the bus at the next stop and a young man standing there asked if I was hungry. I told him I was and he took me to a pear tree across the street in an alley. I climbed up on the roof of an old garage and found that the tree was full of very delicious pears.

After eating I climbed down from the roof and realized that even though the garage was filled with junk there was a fairly clean, dry space that I could sleep in. As I sat down I noticed that there was a bible sitting on a box and not having had anything to read in quite a while I picked it up and opened it.

It was the first time I had seen a red letter edition, so it was real easy to read just the things they say Jesus said.

It seemed that his massage was that we should live in love and peace on this planet.

As a child I was forced to go to christian church and spent much of the service sleeping, but I had been meditating and doing yoga for the last three years and learned to stay awake.

That simple message of love and peace I read about awakened me further.

Maybe, I thought, there was more to christianity than the sleep inducing toxin I had been exposed to earlier in my life.

The next morning while I was sitting in the park two young men walked up to me and asked me why I was reading a bible. I told them what happened and they asked if I wanted to check out this house that I could stay in. They told me that someone in their church donated it to them to use as housing for the young people living on the streets. They asked if I wanted to help. I said yes and within days it was up and running.

We could house 50 to 60 people a night and give them dinner and breakfast. The two men that started things stopped coming by, but the food kept right on arriving, lots of it. The House of Daniel was a labor of love and while it lasted it was a light. There was a lot of joy, peace and love shared by those who came by and received the spirit of the love and sharing message Jesus taught and we were trying to live.

Then one day an older man who called himself Brother Dave came to the house and spread a message of fear by doing a so called exocisim on an inocent child. That cleared the house out and the word on the street was to avoid the place. People stopped staying at the house so it closed. Later I found out he was the leader of The Children of God one of the most notorious and abusive groups around.



January 1971- Trans Canada Highway, Northern Ontario, Canada


I was shaken wide awake by the bouncing of the car I was riding in, the driver of the car had fallen asleep at the wheel, I could tell we were off the road and going really fast.

In the back seat I just relaxed and let go of life, pretty sure it was over.

I found myself spontaneously saying “Into your hands I commend my spirit”.

I don’t really know why, I had practiced Zen and yoga for the last five years and had lost all trust in the christian religion after my experience with Brother Dave.

Loud noise and strong impact, feeling thrown about and then, I was looking down on the car from above.

The wreck was upside down and smashed against a bridge abutment.

“So”, I thought to my self, as I gazed below, “I must be dead.”

Then I realized that I couldn’t be dead, I could see, hear, and think.

I saw that I was somewhere else.

It was like being inside/outside the universe at the same time.

I knew, all was well. In fact, I felt more alive than I had ever felt on earth, even though I was REALLY into living life to the fullest and being as aware as I possibly could be.

This was so much more.

I realized I would never have pain, hunger, fear or suffering again.

I was home. Really home, free at last.

I was also aware of a sound that was all around me, containing all sound and more beautiful than any music I had ever heard. In fact, I realized, human music came out of and tries its best to imitate parts of this sound that is all sound. The really odd thing was, it was like music, but there was no beat, no time.

There was glowing wonderful light everywhere.

Awareness of the presence that surrounded me came next.

Like the embrace of someone who really loved me as a part of itself.

It was as though I were a drop of water unaware of the ocean around me and then suddenly made aware of that sea and my place in it. I was an aware part of all that is, and I was in all that is, and was one with all and was the all, all at once.

A sweet honey feeling of love surrounded me and total acceptance of who I am, and even what I did on earth. The sensation was of a “welcome home”.

I was my real full self again not just a small part.

This was all happening at the same time of forever.

Then, I saw my life on earth, all in very minute detail and over all, at the same time. I saw myself in the true light of the intelligence of the universe.

I felt great regret due to all my failings, which I saw all too clearly now, yet only had faint awareness of while on earth. I also felt total understanding by the life force, of everything I’d done. No condemnation for my short comings was felt from the presence, but I, on the other hand, had a great desire to have done better.

I couldn’t’t understand why I hadn’t been as strong as I now felt. It all seemed so easy now and I vowed that I would try to do better if I ever again got the chance. I could clearly see that life was for the sake of life itself and that what was needed from me was more kindness towards others and true appreciation and gratefulness for all that is.

The part of life that was of earth was over now and I was free, really free. I understood everything and I could do anything and go anywhere and have any experience that I wanted.

Just as I was departing for places unknown, I heard someone screaming and opened my eyes.

It was dark. I wasn’t’t hurt. More screams.

I crawled out of the window and onto the ground. The scene outside looked almost the same as it had from above, vehicle upside down, steam rising upward and the tires still spinning. No time seemed to have past.

The yelling was coming from what was left of the engine compartment. Someone was trapped underneath the car. At that point, I started to feel around inside the car as carefully as I could, every move I made caused more screaming. I found the other two people, one in the front and the other in the back.

I didn’t want to move them, but I pulled them outside, just in case there was a fire. They were both unconscious but alive.

The other person I could not do anything for at that time except assure him he would be all right. It was very cold. Snow everywhere.

There were no lights as far as I could see. I had no idea which direction to go to get help. For some unknown reason I started running east. After about three miles I saw a light. I knocked on the door, and told the man who answered to please call the police.

He drove me back to the accident. We tried to get the man out from under the engine but needed more and different equipment then the logging winch installed on the back of his truck.

The police, fire department, ambulance, and tow truck arrived shortly after that effort and they got him out.

While I sat in the back of the patrol car warming up, the officer came by to tell me that according to the medics no one was seriously injured. Then he turned around in his seat, looked me straight in the eye and said, ”Tonight I think I witnessed a miracle. Anytime I’ve been to a wreck this bad and there have been quite a few over the years, everyone was dead”.

The next morning, I stopped by the tow company on the way out of town.

Maybe he was right, in the daylight I couldn’t’t see how any of us had made it out alive, let alone all of us. That ‘58 Oldsmobile was folded up like an accordion. The tow truck driver saw me looking at the car and came out to talk to me. He said he remembered me from last night. He said from the evidence available they estimated that we were going in excess of one hundred miles per hour when we collided with that cement bridge. He said I was very lucky to be alive.

In so many ways I was glad to be alive and yet I had really wanted to stay in that other place and never come back.

I still work daily on being kind, peaceful, compassionate and loving to all.

I still fail, often, yet continue to practice.




It was around 1972 that I came across an old book about the cabala that listed the meaning of many words. One of those words was YSHVH which spelled in English was Yeshuha and pronounced yeah shu’ ha. It is a place in heaven where mans’ soul finds rest and peace. Another word was YHSVH spelled Yahsuha in English and pronounced yah shu’ ha. It was also translated as Joshuah, Joshua and Jesus by some scholars. The name Joshua is a compilation of two elements, the first one being the appellative יה (Yah) = יהו (Yahu) = יו (Yu), which in turn are abbreviated forms of the Tetragrammaton; the name of the Lord: YHWH. The second element of the name Joshua/Jesus comes from the verb ישע ( yasha’ ), meaning to save or deliver. I took the name Yeshuha.




August 1978- Mendocino California



During the previous eight years there were many changes that took place in this life.

Beside travel and work, I had been practicing and teaching a system of Wholistic Self-Help Health that I had developed.

It was shared with interested people for free in the hopes it would be a part of changing the world away from the pursuit of money and into a different life of sharing and caring.

Many times when I was working with a person on some blocked energy pattern in their body it would release some old emotion. Some very interesting things came out verbally and sometimes physically like a punch in the face or wild arm or leg movements.

If we began a dialogue during release the person would on occasion, apparently relive the event that had seemingly been responsible for the blockage or tension taking place and causing pain, discomfort and illness in that part of the body. It seemed as though the painful parts of life lived on in the tension of the body and parts that had been involved. Some people retained tensions that apparently went all the way back into childhood.

They would at times, seemingly regress to an earlier part of their lives and momentarily relive certain experiences that they said were responsible for the problems they were now having in those tight muscles etc. It seemed that manipulation of the various layers in the muscles, tissues, tendons, and other areas of the body holding residual tension, including the electro-magnetic energy surrounding the body, could be very healing after release of that bound energy.

There were some people, seemingly despite their religious beliefs, that ended up, in what seemed to me when they described it, another lifetime.

They would be themselves and yet, someone else, somewhere else, in some other body, at some other time.

They would also relate how it was just as real as this present life when they experienced this phenomena.

Many times it would bring long lasting relief to congested areas of the body and mind when nothing else seemed to work. I found that this did happen spontaneously at times when a person was very relaxed, but could also happen with a little help from me.

I would explain to them how to enter the deeply relaxed state of mind that made it possible.

I induced no trance state, no hypnosis. They could either do it or not, it seemed to be up to something inside of them. I would ask a few questions during the session, and would help them if they had trouble with this procedure. The rest was up to them as to whether or not they would have the seeming past life experience.

I told them they could stop any experience they might be having, whenever they wanted to, by simply opening their eyes. It was during one of these types of sessions that the following occurred.

She closed her eyes and started the relaxation exercise. When I saw that she was ready to move on I asked her to describe what she was seeing. “I’m walking down the trail in a meadow, there are flowers everywhere. I see trees up ahead and hear some birds singing in them. The sky is really blue and the clouds are beautiful.” she responded.

I would continue to ask the same few questions again and again as it seemed to help keep the person from drifting off and was the best way I had found that allowed them to more vividly remember what happened instead of it being forgotten like a dream, which is what happened if you didn’t converse with them, or in the case of a dream remember and think about the next morning.

A few moments passed and once again, she was asked what she was observing about her surroundings. “I’m walking through the woods. Birds are flying in the air around me and I see a river farther down the trail.” was her reply. A few minuets went by and then she said, “I’m at the river.” I then asked her to tell me what was happening and what she was seeing. She then described in great detail all that she was experiencing and seeing.

After that, she told me there was a boat on the shore and that she was going to get in it and paddle out to the middle of the river. Then she said that she was going to sit back and let the river take her where it was going. I asked her to let me know when the situation changed.

A few moments passed and she then told me she saw people and buildings on the shore and that she was going to find out what that was all about.

After she landed the boat she began to describe the people and the area around her.

I then asked her to look down at her feet and tell me what she saw. “I’m wearing sandals and some kind of robe like garment similar to everyone else.”she said to me. “What are you doing now?” I asked her after a short time had elapsed.

“Going home.” was her reply. “Tell me when you arrive.” I said. “I’m there now.” I asked her to describe it.

I was told that the family had a number of guests and that she had to attend to them.

After just a moment, the expression on her face changed dramatically, and seemed to light up like the rising of the sun.

In a very exited voice she exclaimed, “It’s him, it’s him!”

“Who is it?” I asked.

“Jesus.” was her reply.

Oh boy, I thought.

Had I misjudged this persons sanity and now helped to put her over the edge?

Or, maybe she’s trying to get one over on me. After all, nothing remotely like this had ever happened before. Out of all the seemingly past lives I had been a witness to, no one had been famous. Their lives had been just the lives of regular people.

Nobody, that I knew of, had any idea what was really happening in these states, it just was something unusual that happened at times. It was all experimental.

I did something just a little differently this time and asked her of she could ask “Jesus” a few questions. “I’ll try.” was the reply.

I knew this woman came from a Roman Catholic background and knew next to nothing about the bible. I hoped that my first questions could weed out the possibility of a prank or worse.

About a minute passed before I once again asked her what was happening. “I asked him, then I found myself up in the sky. Now, I’m just floating here.” she said.

Just as she finished speaking , she gasped and reported, ”He’s huge and he’s coming toward me, now he’s surrounding me.”

At the same time I saw a profound change in her facial expression.

She was glowing. I had never before nor since seen a face so radiant, joyous, and peaceful. I can only think that this is what people mean when they talk about transfiguration.

Then a voice, sounding quite different than the woman’s, quietly said, “I am here.”

The only thing I could think to ask was, “Who are you?”

“I am the one they call Jesus.” he replied.

“But, I am no longer Jesus, I am the All for the All.”

“Are you the same “Jesus” that the authorities killed for teaching about love and peace?”

“Yes, they killed me.” he replied.

“Why did you contact me?”

“I owe you this” he said.

“Why did you come to me this way?”

“Well, I could have spoken out of the mouth of a jackass, but this is much easier.”

We both had a good laugh.

After that I decided to test this whatever it was to see if it was, first of all, a prank created by this twenty year old woman with very little spiritual background, or something else entirely.

Though I had no idea what.

Mental health situation?

Some kind of invisible spirit invading her being perhaps?

I really didn’t know what I was dealing with.

“What was your Hebrew name at that time?” I asked him, thinking that she probably wouldn’t know the answer to that.

“I don’t know,” came the cagey sounding reply.

“I got you.” I thought to myself.

Then in a voice that nearly broke my heart for some reason, he added “But when will you believe?”

It felt as tough a sword was piercing my body from back to front, straight through my heart.

Then a bolt of energy shot up my spine, up through the roof of my head.

I knew that this woman could never do that to me.

SO—– Deep inside myself, at that moment, all doubt left me.

I knew I was in contact with the All, the life force/intelligence of the universe and with the part of the All that was “Jesus” when it/he was on earth.

I wept in joy. I felt so grateful.

I asked what he had meant when he said that he owed this to me.

The response was that I had been with him on earth at that time. “Who was I then?” I asked.

“You were the one they now call Peter”, was the reply.

Who could be ready for an answer like that?

Even though, since that time, it has helped me understand many of the strange things that were happening to me and why I was compelled or so it seemed to me, to do certain things that went against the norm. For instance, traveling the hi-ways and by-ways for fifty years, many times with nothing but the clothes on my back. Sharing love and peace with the people I met along the way. Living as simply as I possibly can.

I’m against all war.

I’m for planet earth.

BUT! I’m a very fallible human.

I never was, nor am I now, any kind of saint. I am only human.

I find that to this day, I am deeply disturbed by his answer.

I asked every question I could think of, over many hours, taking many sessions. Until he bid me farewell.

He answered every question to my satisfaction and I knew, this woman could not.

The woman asked me to destroy the recordings that had been made, and much to my present regret, I did as she asked.

What do you do with something like this?

Nothing! That’s what.

Should I have gone around making claims it would have done no good. I would probably be thought insane.

Who would believe it and if they did what would happen?

After all it didn’t turn out so well for the man they called Jesus or any of his closest followers. Did I really want to be involved in any outcome from telling this story?

During the next ten years, so much happened, that by the time the next part took place, I had all but forgotten that part of my life.


September 1988- Wildwood New Jersey


I went to Wildwood on Labor day weekend. I met a man vending handcrafted jewelery on the new pier just off the boardwalk. For some reason or another he said that he thought I should go see the man in the store across the way.

When I saw the storefront he was talking about, I told him that I didn’t go to or believe in psychics. He continued to insist that I needed to go. For some unknown reason, I went.

The old man inside asked me to sit down and proceeded to work some cards in front of him and when he looked up he had an expression of epiphany on his face.

He looked me in the eye and with that same quiet, gentle voice that had come from the previously mentioned woman said, that I was, he then began to list all of these many obscure lifetimes that I had lived and then he said, “and, you were Peter.”

This shook me to my core.

What was happening to me?

Afterward the man refused to charge me because as he put it “It was the most profound moment of my life.”

Still, what do you do with this kind of information?

Start a church, or some cult, write a book, what? I could do none of these things.

I was told in the first session with the young woman, that this information about being Peter was for me and that I never had to tell anyone about it.

As I could see from the lifetimes he had revealed through that last man on the pier, I had on many occasions spoken the truth of love and peace on earth only to be killed for it.


February 1990- Gainesville, Florida


Two years later I met with a woman that claimed to be able to read past lives in the aura.

I really had my doubts about that.

Yet much to my surprise she told me the same thing as the previous two people had, no other voice this time though, just hers.

Once again there was no charge for her services.

She too claimed a powerful experience.

She recorded it. I did keep that recording she made.

I finally listened, as life itself told me about my having lived many lifetimes.





My thoughts on this experience.

I really don’t want to take up much of your time with a lot of words because there is so much more to life, and it is rather frantic for many people now. I didn’t even tell you the detailed version of the story, just enough to clear my mind.

The best that can be hoped for is to be able to deliver some of the information that has been given to me over the past years.

The powers that be in this world, seem to have put into play their last ditch effort to grab everything they can before the empire they have built for themselves falls apart. Money and power will not save them from what is happening on earth, though they seem to believe it will.

Life is not a business.

Making a profit should not be above the welfare of the earth and the living creatures on it.

Freely you receive from life, so freely give to life in return.

It has been a strange life with many wonders and hardships.

I am grateful for the life that has appeared.

Out of nothing, something, more than just random something, light/life, emptiness/darkness, hundreds of billions of suns in hundreds of billions of galaxies.

All that is Life.

Very awesome!

Broken, I hope, is my attachment to the earth and all we, that is the people who try to live in the spirit of love and peace, tried to do here.

Most of what we hoped for has failed to happen in time to save ourselves and all of the life that exists here on earth much suffering.

The planet probably won’t be able to support this many human lives much longer. Today many people suffer privation throughout their lives and live under the rule of the few who have managed to steal everything from everyone else.

Some forms of life will probably survive and flourish in the future, probably not us, but who knows maybe a few will. Maybe they will do better, maybe not.

We have really messed things up for ourselves and all of life here . If only we could all just learn to relax a little and really enjoy the one real miracle we are sure of, life on this planet. The planet and all of the life that is on it would be much better off.

This was not what I wanted to happen.

I didn’t want to be burdened with all of this, whatever IT was.

All I wanted was clear mind and yet I got this.

After many years I have a mostly clear mind, but these experiences are hard to forget, though I wanted to.

This stuff complicated my life way too much.

But– what if this was given to me for some reason and I don’t get it?

Do I have some obligation to humanity just because of this?

Because of who I was in some possible past life?

I was and still am stuck not knowing how to take all of this or what to do with it.

For many years I didn’t tell anybody.

Then I shared it with a few close friends.

It was helpful for some, other people I’m pretty sure thought I was crazy or something.

I stopped telling people this for many more years after the sharing experiment.

This is, as I previously stated, a very condensed version of what took place. There was so much more.

Now, I have decided, that in this most desperate time of man, I will say what was said to me.

Live a life of love and peace as best you can.

That is the only thing that can ever help us or save us.

I have not told you all of this to to gain a following. I do not believe in leaders or followers. To this day I still think no leaders and no followers is the best policy.

The spirit is within you, around you and is you.

Seek and you will find, ask and you will receive.

All I can say is it worked for me.

I do want to make the point that I follow no religion or anything else except what I have been taught over the years in my search for the truth about what life is.

It seems more then enough to live for life.

I think that for many years now, all of the people that propose the love and peace cure for the ills of this world, have been incarnating, to help gently guide the world into a better place.

Have people listened? For the most part NO!

In fact many were ridiculed, jailed, brutalized, and killed for trying to share love and peace.

In the last two centuries alone, especially from the 1960s till the present moment, many have been harmed by those who live in fear and hate and “love”? war.

We would not be in the worldwide mess we are in now if we had understood and lived this simple message: Do to others what you would have them do to you.

Life on earth is a fairly long story that has included humans for a very short period of time and that time is just about over.

I wish that were not so, but man has not learned to live in harmony with the earth.

They are creating their own extinction and taking many of the other life forms with them.

Much of it done by a form of human that seems almost alien to this planet.

No other creature has caused the cancerous like destruction of earth as this type of man has.

The humans I speak of have a few things in common.

These traits are fear, greed and hatred for just about everything except what they desire.

The leaders of this Cult of Consumers are the rich and there fore powerful.

Their people praise, admire, and want to be like them.

They are consuming everything on the planet.

This is not sustainable so they will die off.

However the universe will carry on with out them just fine.

There are now over 8 billion people on the planet and still growing.

In order to control that many people they have to keep all the lies they have been filling minds with since those certain people previously mentioned decided they should live above the rest the humans and that they had the right to do this because god ordained it to be so.

I call BS on that LIE.

They have been telling lies since before the time of Jesus and even bigger ones since then.

The whole christain faith depends on those lies to keep it going, even though their bible tells them that satan is the father of all lies.

Even though there are many sincere and devout members of the church seeking spiritual truth they have been lied to about almost everything having to do with Jesus, his followers, the message, and the history of it all.

They keep repeating these lies to fool them and take advantage of their ignorance of the important truth that Jesus was just a man who realized that Love, compassion, empathy, peace and good will toward others was what was needed to heal many of our problems, in other words save mankind from destroying itself.

He even went so far as to say that God IS Love. Though that was not so obvious a teaching inside the religion he was brought up in.

His thanks for speaking those words of revelation was, we are told, to be murdered.

Most of what the Christian churches teach makes a mockery of the truth.

They teach and follow Paul’s doctrine and dogma.

Paul NEVER met Jesus.

Paul’s god was bloodthirsty.

He and his followers wrote or influenced the whole of what is called the new testament.

If you make a serious study of the origins of the bible you will find this to be true.

The “god” Jesus spoke of is LOVE.

Jesus is recorded to have said “god is love”.

As John Dominic Crossan put it in his book, “The Historical Jesus”, “he was a hippie living in a yuppie world”. He “saved” us by his words of wisdom about love, compassion and peace. Not by the fulfillment of some barbaric god’s need for human sacrifice. Many of the old gods people worshiped wanted blood. The god of love does not.

So much superstition.

I hold so little hope for man at this point.

And yet.

This is now written in the wild hope that if enough people understand, that the only god we should have, if we need one at all, and the only doctrine we should follow no matter the faith, is love, compassion and peace.

This is the message of life and light that Life gives to us when we ask: Love All. I AM ALL.

There may be more to life than is readily apparent. Yet that does NOT mean there is a GOD.

Although a god is possible it is highly improbable and at any rate cannot be proven, so I must pass on the god idea for now.

The idea and practice of compassion, love, and peace do not require a god to work.

They are very pragmatic ideas once you understand they are a means to save life on earth and give everyone here peace and equality no matter who they are.

There seems to be a vast inner-connected intelligence and life force and we parts of it. Similar to a drop of water or some life form, in the sea. The universe visible and invisible is obviously intelligent. Evens some humans are.

It seems to want to communicate and commune with all of itself and that means you and me.

We know of many animals that communicate between themselves and even other animals of different species, and that quantum particles communicate between each other.

This realization is the only way human life on earth stands a chance, to not exterminate itself and much else on this planet.

The earth will live on, with us or without us.

The life force seems to have worked for billions of years to make a life form that could allow it to see itself, think about itself, and stand witness to what it is, to answer the question, What am I?

This question is instilled in us. It is as though we are the part of life that can examine itself and discover what it is.

WE are, Life’s looking glass or perhaps eye, if you will.

All life is rare and precious in the material universe. It is all one and the same infinite thing that we and everything else is.

I do not know, for certain, that I lived a past life as Peter. I do know life gave me these experiences, reason/purpose or not.

I do know that during my life I have asked one question over and over.

What is going on here?

Maybe this is life’s answer to me. Life’s answer to someone else would be different and probably be just for them. My whole life could just be one wild coincidence after another. I could be insane. Still, some how after hundreds of these “coincidences”, I’m more inclined to think that life may be trying to communicate with me.

My mind is open to all possible reasons for what happened, though I have found none reasonable as of yet, except perhaps communication.

Apparently, anything in this quantum world is possible, but not all things are probable.

I decided, even though it may bring me personal pain, to share this part of my life publicly.

I don’t know why this happened to me or if it means anything, but if it does, I don’t want to be the one that hid it from you, if it could possibly be of any help at all.

Imagine a world free of lies, fear, tyranny, greed and hatred and instead filled with goodness towards each other because we share life with each other instead of competing to survive against each other and the whole rest of the world.

I was, in the lifetime I lived as Peter, if I did, just a regular man, as was “Jesus”.

He “saved” me from the “hell” of greed, fear and hatred.

He helped me enter the “heavenly realm” of light, love, compassion and peace.

I am here to deliver the message that Jesus was a man of love and peace, not fear, hate and war.

It is said that he told Peter to put his sword away and healed the injury Peter had caused.

He would be appalled by the many violent things people do using his name.

You do NOT need a church or religion or cult or “spiritual leader” to practice love and peace.

Religions, governments, corporations, and other con artists will lie, steal, and gladly lead you to destruction.

They are all life thieves.

They all steal peoples real life from them.

Remember to watch out for false prophets and teachers. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.

Every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

Love and Peace are the good fruit.

Fear and hate, murder, rape, and war are the bad fruit of the spirit.

Everything written about here is based on experience and is subjective by its very nature.

Most of this page is about the past or future, in the end it must be treated in the same way as everything else, with a clear mind.

I do not know for certain what happened is “THE TRUTH” nor can I prove the truth of it, but it DID happen to me.

I do not know for certain that we won’t live on as a species for many more generations. It could happen, even though I have many doubts that we can overcome the massive problems facing us. I do hope we find our way out of this mess.

I cannot prove any these things really happened to me, and yet I have chosen to reveal them because they have still been helpful to me and some others in sorting out our own lives, so perhaps they can help other people as well.

It is just as likely to make the waters even more cloudy and contentious, even though that is not the intent.

Finally, to those of you who think of yourselves as “Christians” and believe that “Jesus” will return someday to take you to heaven and save you from the horror of what you have done and allowed to be done to the earth, to yourselves, and to others, out of fear, greed, and hatred, yet supposedly in “HIS NAME”, you are wrong.

Life doesn’t seem to really work that way.

Almost all of these tales were made up by Paul and others for their own reasons.

These ideas about god and Jesus stand in total opposition to the love, sharing, and peace that Jesus taught.

To those who rape the earth and damage the climate, nothing can save you from the sorrow you will reap, caused by your own deeds. (Woe unto you destroyers of the earth for you will be destroyed.) So says the bible. Unfortunatly so will almost everything else.

Heaven is within and around you whenever you dwell in love and peace.

Hell is within you and around you when you live in fear, hate, greed, and violence. Not out in some imaginary realm of the future after death.

There probably is no Dude on a throne. I probably won’t be standing at any gate. As I said before, anything is possible, but not all things are probable.

If you do not understand that idea, please study some physics and then reread this.

Apparently you have to remember or learn the lessons of every past life time in your present life as you are born with only a kernel of it all, much like an instinct.

“Jesus” told me he was going on and would never return to this place of sorrow.

He delivered the message he had for us and was killed for it.

Why would he want to come back here after that?

He did NOT die for humanity’s “sins”, but because of their “sins”.

Sins here refer to the dark deeds or mistakes of a fearful being.

There is no cosmic scape goat that you can load all of your wrong doings on and kill him to appease some unknown blood thirsty god.

That is one sick fantasy lie.

Just look at what man has done with the gift of life and this planet and you can see the results of “sin” with your very own eyes.

Jesus according to christians was the prince of peace and love.

Why then have so many of the various churches claiming to be followers of this man pillaged and raped most of the planet in the name of God and Jesus.

No god of love would demand that.

They use lies to make people afraid of this god of love when love supposedly casts out fear.

Now, you have heard the message I have heard.

I too hope never to return and to go on to something else.

Though it’s not as easy nor as romantic as some people imagine, I continue to roam the hi-ways, by-ways and wild places now as I have for the past 57 years.

My thanks goes out to all of you that touched my life.

You helped me understand.

That life force still causes me to wonder about it and be in wonder of it.

It is a truly wonder-filled/full life.

Please don’t miss it.

In the end, as always, keep a clear mind and a warm heart as best you can.

May you find this thought provoking and possibly helpful, as that is it’s ONLY intent.

May you find the the truth of love and peace in your life.

May love and peace be with you all and may you give love and peace a chance.

Some of this was written in 2009-2010 and updated in 2022 and 2023.

Some more of my thoughts about life can be found in the archives of my old blogs and of course all the latest can be found in the curent blog section.